


I Should've Worshiped Her Sooner

by housewolf_tala



Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Cunnilingus, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Some angst, Spoilers, Vaginal Sex, no editing we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-08
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2019-05-19 16:49:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14877614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/housewolf_tala/pseuds/housewolf_tala
Summary: Losing Sara at the height of his victory crushed him; that's not how the story is supposed to go, after all. Win the war, get the girl, right? Months later, she comes by the bar, and he realizes he might have one chance to fix things... Or lose her forever.





	I Should've Worshiped Her Sooner

Things had been hard ever since Kadara had shifted to the new regime. Reyes had moved on as best as he could from what had been a heartbreak of a lifetime. Sara Ryder had been graceful, kind, charismatic, a hell of a drinker... She was the pathfinder. She was amazing, better than any of the stories. 

She had honor- too much honor for the likes of him. That was how she'd ended up leaving. He'd hidden who he was from her for too long; she had told him that his lies made it impossible for her to trust him.

She left him to take over the Port, and the plan went about as expected. He hadn't even hoped it would go smoothly. Thankfully, his angaran friend had taken over the front position well. She could handle most things, and very rarely would she ever need to contact him to fix messes. That left him with a lot of time to reflect on his mistakes in the bottom of Tartarus's finest bottles of whiskey. He had his usual room to himself, after all.

He stared into the bottom of his glass, frowning. Either the bartender was subtly cutting him off, or the whiskey wasn't working anymore. He tossed the glass, satisfied when it broke against the far wall. It made him feel better, at least for the moment.

"Vidal, the Pathfinder is here. She was last seen heading down to the slums. She might be coming to talk to you." His comms fired off with the voice of one of the guards, and he stood, wobbling a bit on his feet. He didn't want her to see him this drunk; he certainly didn't want her to know that he'd been drinking because of her.

It turned out not to matter. An hour later, she hadn't made an appearance. He was getting tired of sitting and drinking, anyway. He walked outside, leaning over the railing, and was surprised that she had actually showed up- just not to see him. She was on the dancefloor, mingling with the crowd. Sara and her well-known asari associate were close together, bodies grinding against one another in a strangely intimate way. He felt like he was intruding, watching them.

The way that Peebee looked at Sara...That was how Sara used to look at him. Maybe it was just wishful thinking, but that utterly devoted look wasn't on Ryder's face in return. He'd heard the rumors, same as anyone. After the whole business with the kett, she'd found herself in a very public eye...And so had her girlfriend. They were never seen apart, and at every major event, they appeared together. He wasn't sure how Pelassaria had been any better than him; she had thrown up just as many walls trying to keep Sara out. Still, if it made them happy...

He wanted another drink, but he was going to torture himself watching her just a little bit longer.

She had clearly been drinking herself, and it showed in the lack of finesse her dancing had. She wasn't exactly a cage dancer to begin with, but when one added drink into the mix... "Come ON, Sara! I know you've got better moves than that!" Peebee was goading her, and admittedly, the asari had some fantastic moves. She belonged in this world, surrounded by professional dancers in cages. Sara did not; she was the poster child of the Initiative, and she’d grown up only being taught how to be proper. He’d liked when she had opened up around him and showed him a small bit of her that was wild. It was the part of her that had thirsted for this adventure in the first place.

“Yeah, yeah, but those aren’t fit for public consumption,” Sara joked, and Reyes felt a squeeze around his heart. It was true, then. They were together. “I’m gonna go get us more drinks!” She had to yell over the music and the crowds, and it enabled him to hear every word. He grabbed the arm of a passing waiter. It was time to make up for at least the smallest of all the mistakes he’d made with her.

“The pathfinder drinks for free tonight,” he ordered, as quietly as he could manage. The waiter just nodded, and jerked out of his arm. He might be the true leader of the Port, but that didn’t relieve anyone of their bad attitudes. In all fairness, he had grabbed someone without asking. 

Unwilling to watch however the rest of her night turned out, he retreated into the VIP lounge. He had more credits than he knew what to do with, and it was the least he could do after everything he’d done to her. Besides, she’d paid for his drinks more than a few times.

What he didn’t expect was that only an hour later, his door opened, and a very drunk Sara Ryder walked in- alone. “You can’t buy me off with drinks, you know,” she slurred. She took steps into the room, and the door closed behind her, leaving them with no witnesses. “I can’t believe you’d even try. You hurt me. I stuck my neck out for you, over and over, and you were keeping secrets- important secrets- away from me the whole time.”

“Sara-” he tried, standing up. She tried to take a step backwards, and started to fall over. Her coordination was completely gone. He raced forward, catching her before she could hit the table or the floor. He steadied her as best he could, and tried to lead her over to the couch- but she yanked out of his grip, and stumbled backwards again. At least that time she didn’t fall.

“No. Don’t ‘Sara’ me. You can’t use that accent and smooth charisma to talk your way out of it this time. I only came up here to say thanks for the drinks, but our working relationship is just to keep the peace in this port. Otherwise, leave me alone.” She was a sight, even drunk. The anger and buzz lit up her face, and he could still have melted into those brown eyes. She had powerful shoulders, and her fingers twitched like she longed to throw him against the wall with her biotics. He’d seen that exact look when she was fighting many, many times.

“Please, Sara. I wasn’t trying to buy you off. It was my poor attempt at an apology, and to make up for all the times I left you with the tab.” He held up his hands in the universal symbol of trying to appear non-threatening, but he was drinking her in. Even in full armor- especially in full armor- she was breathtaking. He wanted her as badly as he always had, and the feelings were intensified by how much he’d had that night. He also knew better than to piss her off. “I am sorry, for everything. I don’t want to cause trouble.”

He ached for her; he missed her more than he could say. He’d fallen for her the moment he’d seen her standing at the bar, waiting for him. She used to be just as interested.

“You’re sorry? You lied to me, over and over. You had so many opportunities to tell me the truth and you never did, not once. At least Sloane was upfront with me. She was a bitch from the beginning, but at least she never pretended to love me,” Ryder spat at him. That had done it. There was a brief shift in the room, and he was slammed back on the couch, held there by some unseen force. He felt like he couldn’t breathe. He just stared at her, fighting to speak.

His voice came out ragged; there was so much pressure he could barely speak above a whisper. “I wasn’t pretending,” he gasped. 

Sara exhaled in frustration, and the pressure lifted immediately. She had tears in her eyes, whether from the drink wreaking havoc with her emotions, or from hurting him, he couldn’t say.

He kept speaking as soon as it was down, leaning forward. His voice was pitched low, and he stared into her eyes. He was hungry for whatever he could get, even a few more moments of her. “By the time I knew I was really in love with you, it was too late. I was afraid of telling you the truth. I told the entire Collective not to harm you; I did everything I could to keep you out of the line of fire. I never dreamed Sloane would bring you as her backup. I was going to tell you, someday, when it was over.” He took a breath and stood up again. Before she could react, he was there, gripping her wrists. She was so close, he could smell the powerful stench of alcohol on her breath. “You looked at me like a misbehaving scoundrel, yes, but also like you believed I was a better man deep down. I wanted to be that man for you. I wanted to make Kadara Port a haven for the misfits like me; I wanted to be someone, still, but be worthy of you, too. I knew I’d spend the rest of my life trying, and I’d never make it, but you deserved that effort. You deserved the man you thought I was.”

Those tears never left, and her body stiffened in anger. He prepared himself to be slapped, thrown against a wall again. He deserved it; he hadn’t meant to invade her space without being invited. He savored the last few seconds of what her skin felt like on his fingertips, and then...

She was kissing him.

Reyes was stunned, and his body responded before his mind did. It was exactly like their first date; Sara was the aggressor, pressing against him. She’d surprised him, but he’d learned a long time before how to roll with it. It was the whiskey slowing him down now. Unlike before, he pushed her away, completely. “No, Sara. I ruined what we could have had and you moved on; I respect it. I may be the scoundrel I hoped to leave behind, but I won’t get between your happiness and hers for selfish passion.” It was the hardest thing he’d ever said, but he meant it. No matter how badly he wanted her, he wouldn’t ruin her life over it.

“Moved on?” Sara was visibly confused for a moment, then it dawned on her. She smacked his arm, ignoring his ‘oww’ of protest. “You mean Peebee, don’t you? Reyes, you’re an idiot. She and I aren’t dating, not exclusively. I couldn’t...Commit to anyone, not after you.” That hurt her to admit; it was all over her body language. He was daring to hope. “She’s not looking for anything serious with me. I can’t give her the adventure she needs. She’s still young for an asari and I won’t be around when she becomes old enough to want more than the next big thing. She helps fill the void you left.”

He was dreaming; he had to be. She wasn’t forgiving him, and she was still mad, but that confession was everything he’d ever hoped for. He was back against her, resting his palm on her cheek. His thumb brushed over the tears that had leaked out of her eyes. She was still stiff, angry, but she wasn’t pushing him away. “Even so, Sara, I can’t...” He exhaled, and kissed her. It was just as fiery, fueled by the frustration and anger that had led to the first one. He ended it, again, but only after he was satisfied. It might be his last from her. He rested his forehead against hers, exhaling again. He was shaking. He wanted her, oh he wanted her, but he couldn’t. Not now. “You came in saying one thing and now you’re doing another. You’ve had a lot to drink and I want to talk about this when you’re thinking clearly. You’re confused, and hurt, and so am I. Please, go enjoy the rest of your night. If you want to talk tomorrow, send me a message and I’ll come to the Tempest.”

She shoved him away and pivoted on her heels, much less gracefully than she intended. His hand was still hovering in the air where her face had been when she disappeared through the door, and his palm tingled where the warmth of her skin had been. He gritted his teeth against the surge of emotions in his chest and sat down, ordering another drink. He’d have a hell of a tab to pay for tomorrow, but he couldn’t be damned to care. He didn’t expect to hear from her again, even professionally. 

He should have taken the chance while he had it; that was the only thing he was sure of.

Hours later, one of the staff was shaking his shoulder. He’d passed out on the couch, bottle still in hand. Now, it was laying sideways on the ground, with a small puddle of clear liquid under it. He groaned as he sat up, and the waitress looked at him with concern while she handed him a water. “I was told to come check on you. Rough night?” He gulped down the water, examining the girl. She was new; he’d never seen her before. Tanned skin from being outside all the time, brown hair drawn up in a neat ponytail, chocolate brown eyes...The facial features were all wrong, but he could pretend.

“They’re all rough, darling. Take a break with me, why don’t you?” He patted the couch beside him, and she looked like she might for a moment. Hesitantly, she shook her head and backed away, murmuring a quick excuse about how she’d be missed. Reyes sighed, rubbing his temples with his fingertips to try and alleviate the throbbing headache plaguing him. “Even her lookalike doesn’t want me,” he muttered. He knew he was being pathetic, but a hangover wasn’t exactly the best cure for his self esteem.

His omni-tool flashed, and he sluggishly poked the necessary buttons to bring up whatever had notified him. If it was Collective business, he had every intention of ignoring it. Whatever trouble the outlaws had gotten into could wait for a few hours-

“Dear Reyes,

I woke up this morning in the worst pain of my life, and that’s saying something. I’ve been shot. I’ve been clinically dead three times. My hangover is worse than when my appendix ruptured. Not a single one of those compares to what it’s like to wake up in fresh heartbreak over someone you were certain was the love of your life. I admit, I was angry at first. It took Peebee a few dozen times of asking before I finally spilled everything. (She’s annoying me to death until I say hi for her, so, Peebee says ‘hi’.)

She told me I should take you up on that talk. Even if we come to the same conclusions, and even if it hurts, I think I’m owed the truth from you while you’re sober. Jaal says that the whole point of having your emotions out is that you get hurt, but then you deal with it. I’m tired of burying my pain, Reyes. I can’t run from it, no matter how much Peebee says I can. So, here’s the deal. Drinks are on the house for my crew at Kralla’s Song tonight. You can personally pay for it, or the Collective can; I don’t care. I will have the Tempest to myself.

We will be having dinner in my room at eight o'clock sharp. There will be no alcohol. You will come wearing something nice, and we’re going to talk, openly. No more lies; if we are hiding anything this whole thing will be pointless. I can’t disconnect SAM from my head, so he’ll be there to tell either of us out loud if the other one is lying. Whatever happens after this talk depends on what’s said, and how honest you are. I want- no, I need- answers, Reyes. I hope you’ll be here to give them to me.

See you soon.

Sara”

He’d never sprinted out of Tartarus so fast.

When eight rolled around, he was walking down the last pathway to the Tempest in a button-up and dress pants. He’d received many a strange look as he passed members of the collective; they’d never seen him dressed so nice. They certainly hadn’t seen him dressed up and holding flowers. He knew there would be gossip spreading like wildfire after the word got round he’d been heading to Ryder’s ship dressed like that, but he didn’t care. He had one chance to make up for how stupid he’d been, and he wasn’t going to let his image get in the way of it.

He knew the way to her room; it was a short walk, but it felt longer that time.

“You look like you’re w...” When he opened the door, he felt all his breath leave him in a whoosh. Sara was relaxed onto her couch, holding a wineglass with what looked suspiciously like wine. Her black dress clung to her body, and the straps didn’t conceal more than a few inches of her shoulders. The skirt ended at mid-thigh, and the sight of her legs crossed and the sheen of the leather in the light undid him. Her hair was down for once, and it framed her beautiful face. She looked so warm, despite the man-eating makeup she’d put on.

He could have fallen to his knees to worship her. 

“It’s juice,” she explained, sipping from her glass. “We’re finally figuring out what fruits are edible on Meridian. I was given a few bottles of this to try, and I liked it; I thought it might go with our meal tonight. It’s also from Meridian; it kinda tastes like beef.” Sara gestured to the meal in front of them. It was cooked well; he’d give credit to whoever figured out how to cut it. It really did look like a steak. Plus, there was rice, which he recognized to be Nexus-grown. It was too much like Earth rice to be otherwise.

She stood up to greet him, finally. She was much more graceful sober, and he had to keep his eyes focused on her’s so he wouldn’t stare lower. “I brought you flowers, and made sure that I’ll be paying for your crew at Kralla’s, since I didn’t get to pay for our dinner,” Reyes started. Sara had been devouring his appearance, too, but she eventually focused on the flowers. She took them, and in the pass, their fingers touched. It felt like electricity bouncing between them for a few seconds, and then it was gone, leaving only the longing for more of her touch. She placed the flowers in a vase by her bed while he continued on. “They’re all wild on Kadara. They’re not toxic; your work with the vault really turned the place around.”

“Thank you. It wasn’t just my work, though,” she responded automatically.

They both sat down, across from one another. He took the chair, and tried to hide his discomfort. She was waiting for him to begin. He took a bite of the ‘steak’ first, and while the meat was gamier than he was expecting, it really did resemble the beef flavor. He’d missed it; it was like a small taste of his former home in this strange and distant place.

The juice tasted like nothing familiar, but it was still pretty damn good. He wondered, idly, if it’d make a good wine after they experimented with it a bit more.

“So,” he began, between bites. She flicked her eyes up to his, but she didn’t stop eating. “The whole truth. Obviously, I’ve been playing the political game since before I met you. When they told you to meet me, they were working through who they think is now the leader of Kadara. Very few people knew and know who the Charlatan truly is. I’d heard about you and I wanted to meet you for myself. I was attracted to you, interested in you, from the moment I started watching you in Kralla’s. At first, I was just going to help with what you needed... Until you proved to be honorable, beautiful, captivating. I’d never extended an offer of ‘call whenever you want info’ to anyone I’d barely met ever before, but I felt like I could trust you. The more we worked together, the more I realized just how deep you were getting into Kadara’s secrets. I sent a message to all the leaders of the Collective to pass down to everyone else that you had my protection. At that point, we’d been working together enough that I could have trusted you with the truth...But I was so, so close to the final move against Kelly. I didn’t think you’d be involved, especially not on Kelly’s side; she hated you. I set everything up carefully. I’d become so close to you in such a short time.”

“That night on the roof after her party, when we were drinking, I told you the truth. I wanted to be someone. You told me that I was someone to you, and it changed everything. I wondered what someone I was to you. I knew it wasn’t the murderous, conniving, shadowy Charlatan. It was Reyes Vidal- just Reyes Vidal. That was enough for you. That was when I realized I love you. The final move was ready; I was going to swiftly take over Kadara, offer you and the Initiative a place on it and peace. Then, once that was done, I was going to come clean and tell you the truth- who I was, what I’d done, all of it. I wasn’t going to leave the Collective, but I was going to slowly change what it was. For the first time since coming to Heleus, I wanted to be a good man. I wanted to have the same honor and kindness you did. I wanted a life with you, a real one, that wasn’t back room flings and drunk kisses and shady deals. When you walked in with Sloane...Well.”

He took a breath. Ryder was staring at him in thought, waiting for him to finish. His next breath shuddered, and he continued. “It was too late to stop it all and explain myself. I couldn’t be weak in front of the plan. I know you saw the sniper, and you still chose not to step in. When we were walking away, I thought...I thought ‘this is it. Everything I could have wanted.’ You were angry, and... I realized you felt betrayed, like I’d used you to get to Sloane. I never meant you to believe that. I wasn’t trying to use you to undermine the Outcasts, but I can see how it might have seemed that way, now. You broke my heart that day, and at first, I just thought that you couldn’t stand who I really was. It took a long time for me to realize that you didn’t care that I was the Charlatan; you were angry because I never confided in you. You felt like I’d used you, betrayed everything there was between us to drive the knife into Sloane’s back once and for all. I knew even if I swore that wasn’t the case, you wouldn’t believe me.”

“I believe you said “death by a thousand cuts” when I called you on using me to get back at her,” Sara interrupted, dryly. She still didn’t look angry, though. She seemed thoughtful, like she was analyzing everything he said.

“I couldn’t explain the whole truth right there, but your role in that was coincidental. You just happened to help me undermine the Outcasts. You needed to gain ground by helping ordinary people, solving murders and missing people cases. The fact that you were solving them was, as a side effect, proving the Outcasts incompetent...And implied they didn’t care about the people,” Reyes responded. There was silence for a few seconds, and then a strange, robotic voice piped up from the corner of the room.

“Pathfinder, Reyes is telling the truth.” After another second, he recognized it as Sam’s voice, and remembered that Ryder had warned him ahead of time that the computer would be analyzing everything he said to make sure he didn’t lie to her. 

“Thank you, Sam.” Sara responded quietly. There was another few moments of silence, and then she spoke out loud,”I’ll answer your questions later.” Reyes was confused, but it sounded like she’d directed at the corner of the room and not at him. Perhaps it was just expected that the AI would have questions about all of this. He wasn’t entirely comfortable knowing that thing was in her head all the time, but it had certainly helped her in saving the world. He’d had to learn how to look at AI differently because of it. Everyone had.

“I believe you. I’m not happy about it, but at least I know you didn’t intend to keep me in the dark forever. That leaves us with this, Reyes- what do you expect from this? We have a good business relationship that keeps peace between the Initiative, the Angarans, and Kadara. We can’t ruin that with anything messy, and our feelings after all of this are the definition of messy.” She was poised, in her full business mode. When she was taking charge, she was in her element. He loved that about her.

He stood up, and offered her a hand. She gave him a quizzical look, but took it nonetheless, and stood up with him. He pulled her out into the center of her room, keeping her off balance just long enough to slip one arm around her waist and tangle the fingers of his free hand into hers. “Let’s start over, then,” Reyes said, softly. “Pretend we’re back in Kralla’s Song, and we’ve never met before.”

“Hello, Pathfinder. I hear we have you to thank for saving the world and my home. My name is Reyes Vidal, and I’m in charge around here. Let me buy you a drink, and have this dance.”

“My name is Sara Ryder,” she played along, eyes sparkling. She was smiling for the first time the whole night. Warmth spread through his chest while he swayed with her, no particular music in mind. “Quite the charmer, Mr. Vidal, and very presumptive. Most guys are much more intimidated and need an invitation before they come into my personal space. Sam, play music please.” Clearly, the lack of melody to follow actually did bother Ryder, and immediately the AI complied with the request. A slow, romantic song filtered through the sound system, and he was quick to match with it. It took Ryder a few more moments to catch up, which he found endearing.

“I’m not most guys,” he chuckled, spinning her in his arms so that she faced outward. Her dress wasn’t made for dancing, but it was still a nice moment. She wasn’t struggling too much in her heels and the leather; it was her normal lack of musical coordination. “So what brings you back to Kadara Port? Any official visits, you normally pass right through to the badlands. Looking for a touch of trouble?”

“I’m being touched by trouble, alright,” Sara remarked, and Reyes laughed. He spun her again, back to face him, and dipped her. Her brown eyes were staring into his with wonder, and her smile could have been the sun itself. “I came here because it’s the only place in Andromeda that people will leave me alone, and treat me like everyone else. Sometimes I want to have fun, too, and that’s impossible on the Nexus and in Meridian where my image is so important.”

“This is why it’s better for your business self to be hidden away from your true self. You don’t see the mysterious Charlatan out dancing with beautiful women, because those women might become targets for his enemies. Perhaps you should have followed my lead,” he responded casually, and Sara just shook her head. He knew it wasn’t the same thing, but he empathized. Ruling from the shadows left him the freedom to do whatever he wanted, and be whomever he wanted to be. Being a leader meant that she was always in the spotlight, and she was admired, adored, from the majority of the galaxy.

“Pathfinder wouldn’t normally be such a high profile job. I’d be out on the remote edges of the galaxy trying to find habitable worlds, with just my crew and SAM, if I hadn’t had such a mess to fix when I got here...And if I hadn’t been responsible for first contact with the angarans and critically important alliances. Now, I’m something of a hybrid between a pathfinder and a political mess cleaner.” Sara spoke wistfully, sadly, and he realized that solving people’s problems wasn’t what she lived for. She lived for the moments when she stood on top of a mountain no one had climbed before, and witnessed the scenery of a world unseen before her. She wanted a quieter, more private life than what she’d had dropped in her lap. 

Reyes laughed, pulling her close as the song ended. “You know what, Ryder? I think if everything had gone as planned and you were some distant explorer, you’d be lonely and bored. You get a rush from the danger.” His face was so close to hers that he could feel the heat radiating off of her skin. He traced his fingertips over the small of her back, up her spine. She had such a lovely body... “Deep down, you love it. You adore the thrill of a bullet whizzing past your hair. You are filled with pride when you walk into a room and you know that everyone there would fall to their knees and grovel for your attention if you asked. You thrive on the knowledge that you are irreplaceable in this world.”

He cupped the back of her neck, noticing that her breathing had hitched, and her pulse was high in her neck. “You want me because when you’re here, next to me, I’m the one in control. It’s about power, and you love that subtle fight between us. But I have a secret for you,” his voice lowered, and he was whispering against her lips. He could feel her shiver under his touch, and it would be a fraction of a moment to fully meet her body. “and it’s that I’m not in control. I worship you. I’ve known from the moment I met you that I’d fall to my knees, lick your feet, let you crush me under your boots if it was what you wanted.”

“I thought we were pretending we forgot we ever met,” she murmured, trying to regain her composure. Her body was arced against his, and the curve of it was delightful. The music was long forgotten, and the tension crackling in the air around them could have set a forest ablaze. Her voice was shaky, showing just how much she was affected by him. His honor had kept him from her while she was drunk, but she was sober now, and she wasn’t pushing him away.

“Oh, Sara,” he whispered, hoarsely, threading his fingers into the silky brown locks,”I’d have to be dead to forget you.”

His lips crushed against hers, and her arms locked around his waist. She was pulling him backwards, and though she’d been aiming for the bed, they ended up against the observation window. He could see miles of Kadara below them, and thankfully, they were invisible to anyone trying to look in. He wasn’t in a rush to progress anything; it was simply enough to feel her against him, to know that he hadn’t lost her forever. Their contact was heavy, but not from lust; the emotions he’d buried- heartbreak, pain, love- had bubbled to the surface, and he poured it into how he touched her, the fierceness of their kiss.

His fingertips danced around her body, trying to find the zipper or ties to her dress. He broke away from her for just a moment, glancing over the black leather for any sign of where it ended. The zipper was tucked under her arm, and he tugged it down. They were breathing heavily, the only sound besides the soft music to which they’d just been dancing. 

He pushed the clinging leather off of her, and it fell to her feet. She stepped out of it and into his arms again, and the feeling of her skin under his fingertips was more than enough to satisfy. He rested his hands against her lower back, pulling her towards her bed. She was making quick work of his buttons while they moved, and he let go of her long enough for the shirt to be pushed off of his arms. His pants followed, and when they fell onto the bed together, only scraps of clothing separated them.

The bed was soft, freshly made, but it smelled like her soaps. He loved being surrounded by her scent. It took a bit of work, but he pulled the blanket over both of them and her into his arms again. She started to reach for the hem of his boxers, and he rested one hand over hers; the other cupped her face, and he kissed her nose softly. “No, Sara. Not right now. I do ache for you, but I want to just enjoy this moment. It’s been years since I really kissed you.”

She rested her arm around his waist instead, and tucked her other under her pillow. He propped himself onto an elbow, content to stare at her. Her skin was flushed, and she was blushing. Her eyes were devouring his chest, and the trail of hair that disappeared under the thin cloth that was his only covering. His own eyes drifted, taking in the solid black bra and thong she’d been wearing under that leather. It complimented her skin, the dark hair and eyes. He traced the curve of her waist and hips, then back up, threading into her hair to tug her head slightly to the side.

He lowered his lips to her neck, brushing slowly over the fluttering vein in her neck. The electrical connection that always burned between them still did, and it was the barely rational part of his mind that kept him from having her right then. He was enjoying the moment too much, the warmth of her arms and skin. This was where he’d always belonged. It was what he’d been craving for all the years without her. His skin tingled when he heard her whisper, right against his ear,”I love you, Reyes.”

The response to her statement was on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn’t speak. He was afraid it was a dream, and that he would wake at any moment. Hell, if he was dreaming, he would murder the person who woke him.

Whatever rational part of him that had wanted to wait disappeared. His gentle, bare kisses became insistent, hungry. He shifted completely on top of her, resting his body against hers. The softness of her skin running along the tough, sun-beaten surface of his was like sinking into velvet. He nipped at her collarbone, needing to taste such a delectable goddess. He couldn’t believe she was real, or that he really had her after so long. She forgave him, and she still loved him. He would do anything for her, but at the moment, he wanted to do everything to her.

He unclasped the back of her bra with one hand, pulling her chest against his with his free arm. She’d seen the shift in his mood, and tried again to reach for the hem of his boxers. He didn’t stop her this time, and she tugged it off his hips. He freed her breasts and tossed the interfering cloth to the floor, lowering his mouth to take one exposed peak into his mouth. He’d fantasized about her many times, but nothing tasted quite so good as the real thing.

“Ah!” She gasped, arching her back into his attentions. He kicked off the last of his coverings, and pressed her back into the bed. He turned his eyes up to her face, drinking in her expression.

Her eyes reflected so much adoration that it nearly broke him again. The light flush on her cheeks was beautiful, and the way her mouth parted with each flick of the tongue...He wondered how he would restrain himself through all he planned. He couldn’t keep watching her face if he was going to be strong enough. Reyes looked away, focusing on nibbling down her navel. Sara’s body was trembling in anticipation, and the tease in him wanted to draw it out. He hovered above her pelvis, and flashed a wicked grin up at her.

He pretended like he was going to dive in, but instead, grazed his teeth along her inner thigh. She arched again, groaning in frustration, and he ate up the sound. He’d never been able to have her like this, and he wanted to burn every moment in his memory.

He felt her legs wrap around his shoulders, and a sharp tug of them pressed his mouth to her nether lips. He chuckled at the impatient push, and obliged, dipping his tongue into her slit and running it slowly along the length. She shuddered, and relaxed her legs- but he didn’t pull away. The scent of her assaulted his senses, and her taste was exquisite. Just their brief moment of passion had her honey coating her, and he lapped it up greedily. 

He circled his tongue around the sensitive nub tucked away at the front of her, wriggling one arm under her so he could press a digit inside her. The warmth enveloped it immediately, and her walls clamped down around it, eager for more. He curved the tip of his finger up, massaging along the inside in time with his mouth- and heard the sounds of her moans filling his ears. 

He sped up, wanting her writhing under him, nearly ready to burst when he finally gave in to his desires. He needed to make their first time breathtaking.

Another finger pressed in with his first, and curved up in the same way, caressing her inner nerves with quick flicks. She was trembling, her fingers twined into his hair; her voice echoed off the walls with every suckle and curl of his tongue on her clit. The way his name dripped off her tongue, the desperate way it was cried, drove him wild. He never wanted to stop devouring her, and at the same time, he wanted to know how good it would be to bury himself between her legs.

He waited until she was dancing on that edge before he pulled back, slowing the pace with his fingers and letting his thumb take over where his tongue had left off. He watched her, licking his lips to clean them, savoring the taste of Sara and the look on her face. She would never beg, but her need was written in her eyes.

Her legs started to fall from his neck as he rose up, and he held them there, pulling her hips into his lap with a sharp tug. He withdrew his fingers from her, and he adjusted himself to let his tip rest at her entrance. She radiated warmth, and desire, and he was desperate to be one with her.

“Fuck, Sara,” he groaned as he sank into her. Reyes had never felt anything so sweet, and with any other woman, he might have closed his eyes to lose himself in that feeling. For her, he wanted to be present. He focused on her eyes, and the flush in her cheeks. Her thighs were soft to his fingers, and her sex wrapped around him like it was made for him. Her gasp was sweet to hear, and he couldn’t resist leaning down to take it from her lips. He rocked into her, hard, not wanting to lose what ground he’d gained with his mouth and fingers.

He could still taste her, and knew she would be able to on his lips. She didn’t seem to mind; it seemed to turn her on further. She bit his lower lip, tugging it between her teeth. He pulled away with a low growl of passion; he needed to see her lose control, just once.

As he leaned back, he replaced his thumb on her clit, circling it as he thrust into her. Her moans turned louder, transitioning to screams of ecstasy; her legs were braced against him, and the shaking of her muscles betrayed how close she was. He could feel her walls pulsing on his cock. His shaft was coated in her nectar, and the deep, shuddering gasps for air proved she was close once more. “Come for me, Sara,” he commanded. He hardly recognized his own voice; though it was meant to be demanding, instead, he sounded like he was begging for it.

His words were what she needed. “Reyes!” She screamed his name, and she seized around him, clamping down on his member. Wave after wave of spasms hit her, and he rode them out, never stopping. He drank in the sight of her in throes of ecstasy, burning it into his mind.

He kept his pace, intending to allow himself the same joy now that he knew she was satisfied. The height of her pleasure faded, and he leaned back over her, gripping the bed. His fingertips dug into the sheets, taking fistfuls of it, and he buries his lips against her neck. Her skin felt finer than any silk, and her unique scent captivated his mind. Finally, he allowed himself to be lost, surrounded in everything that was Sara.

Her nails dug into his back, scratching down the length, but he didn’t feel the pain. Reyes felt her touch, the lust between them, and the heat of their bodies pressed together. The hottest day of the Kadaran summer had nothing on her at the height of her passion.

“Don’t hold out on me. I want to feel you come now,” she murmured against his ear. He groaned in response, a shiver running down his spine; her words nearly drove him over his already thinly held self control. The closer he came to the end, the higher that pleasure built; he just needed a few more moments with her, a little bit longer to enjoy that time...

“Please,” she added, softly, her arms tightening around his back- and that undid him.

He sheathed himself fully inside, whispering her name like a prayer against her skin. Every throb of his cock felt better than the last, and he spilled every drop of his balls into her. He was gasping, and his arms trembled with the force of his climax- he could see stars, and the haze of bliss clouded his mind, slowly fading out until all he was aware of was their panting and the cooling sweat on their skin.

He lowered himself onto her, and she held him, threading her fingers through his hair and stroking it softly. He closed his eyes, content to breathe her in. Reyes had no intention of pulling out just yet; being close to her, united to her, was something he’d craved for so long.

With the animal instinct seeping out of him, he focused on the sounds of their heartbeats beating together, and calming his breathing. He looked up, and could see her smile; her head was tilted down, with her nose buried in his hair and her eyes closed. He knew she was just as happy as he was. Despite their rocky start, and all the pain that had led them here... They were finally where they belonged: together.

“That was amazing, Sara,” he said. Her eyes fluttered open, and the love that filled them was all he’d ever wanted.

“It was more than amazing; it was the best.” Sara responded with a soft chuckle.

“Ryder is lying.” SAM’s robotic voice immediately came from his corner, and they both froze. Sara started to blush, but Reyes started laughing at the absurdity. They’d both forgotten about the AI, and the request Ryder had made for him to inform the other if someone didn’t tell the truth.

“Way to kick a man where it hurts,” he teased, still grinning as the blush deepened. “You know, I can learn! Who was better, anyway?”

“Look, okay, Asaris can do that mind thing and it’s kind of fantastic? Not to say that you’re bad or anything, because you’re not! It’s just...” She trailed off, floundering for a way to dig herself out of the hole that she’d just dug. He just laughed more, and hugged her tighter.

“Then I’ll just have to do better next time. If...there is a next time?” There it was, the question that had started to creep into his mind. Of everything he feared, losing her was at the top of the list.

“Mmm, I dunno...It’s gonna be pretty hard to beat total mind and body connection. But I think you can do it.” She winked at him, and his heart melted, as it always had for her. He didn’t respond, just pressed another kiss to her lips- silencing anymore of their banter, at least for the moment.

“Good. Because next time is right now.”

**Author's Note:**

> This fic took over a year to finish because, frankly, I kept losing confidence. This is my first time posting a fanfiction(though not my first time writing one), and my first delve into the Mass Effect universe. I hope you guys enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.


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